o_O

I seriously hope Marcus and Michael are kicking your ass around right now.
I woke up very mad at you yesterday.

I miss you though, I really did. I hate that it still keeps hitting me over and over, the realization that you are gone.
I'm going okay though. Your ring is still on my finger. Your name is still imprinted pretty deeply on my heart.
I can't believe time is going by so fast though. Your boy Daniel is going to be 16 in a month. Then I graduate in May. I'll
be done with high school. Finally. And then my birthday is in July. I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon.
I truly hate that you're missing all of this..

I miss you. Talking about you is really hard. Not talking about you is really hard.
I can't look at your picture without crying, but I still want to see them all.
I suppose it's gotten easier though. I've spent a lot of time talking to a really good friend of mine lately. Makes me feel better.

You did some dumbass things, but I know that you loved me. I was just looking at all of our pictures. The way you were looking at me and smiling and all of that...
I could just tell. What Veronica and Mom said was right. (Of course :P)

It still hurts just as bad though. But someone told me that it will always hurt like this, but it will just get easier to handle. And
that person is very very intelligent, so I believe her.

I won't ever forget. I remember every single time you came to me crying, or vice versa. I remember the first time I kissed you. The first time I hugged you. The night you asked me out and I FINALLY said yes. I remember the first time I ever rode with you. I remember the first fight we ever had. I remember what it was over, what we said, and you storming off, then coming back 5 seconds later and kissing me. I remember swinging on the swings with you, drinking amp and eating combos. I remember yelling at you to slow down. I remember refusing to go into Sagebrush because you wouldn't throw the dip away. I remember you carving our names into the table and saying "There. I put your name, and I used Marcus' keys... the two most important people in the world to me." I remember me throwing a french fry at the waiter because he was a jerk. It may have missed but it was closer than yours, haha.
I remember that no matter what we were doing, we always stopped and got ice cream before we went home. I remember helping you move. Me sitting there folding your hoodies all nice and neat, and then you just picked them all up and tossed them in the truck. I was pissed. :P
I remember going down the road last summer with the windows down, music blasting, singing and laughing. I remember you trying to sleep and Ellie kept jumping on your head. I remember you calling me shy the first time I ever talked to you, and then I smacked your butt at Mike's. You turned around and said to JJ "Did you see that?! She just smacked my ass!!!! O_O!!!!!!!!!" and I was just laughing. I had only known you for a little while at that point... it was hilarious.
I remember you boys making the dog house and you wouldn't stop coming over to talk to me, so Marcus fussed at you a lot. Then he threatened to hit you with the hammer if you didn't stop hitting on me :P

I wish you could be here. You and I made lots of plans, and I honestly thought we would go through with them. I still have the 4 voicemails you left me the night before. I still have all the stuff you gave me. Valentines day cards and gifts. Birthday cards and gifts. Xmas gifts. The random things you bought me. Movie tickets. Quarters. That stupid horrible awful movie you got me :P Stuffed animals, roses, etc.

19 years old is way too young to go. The love I had for you a year ago is still there. It only grew stronger every time you said my name, smiled at me, and touched my skin.
I miss you so much Cody James Humble. I would have married you. Whether I should have or not.

I love you baby.